blackgirl on mars: notes on a life in copenhagen (or how my alienation brings me closer to people).

Today I saw Toussaint L'Ouverture on the train He sipped cider & spoke French His face Sun amongst Snow. He spoke to ghosts and spilled liquor for the ancestors He broke Out finally in English, "I am a Big Man in My Country. "In my country I have a mercedes benz... "In my country they cannot even put me in Jail... then he looked at me squarely and said, you do not belong here... "I do not belong here... to all others you fit the bill, but to me Toussaint, I see you & the way you cup your dreams in your hand like a hummingbird its wings broken & 'problem is Toussaint is they don't know who You Are. Even though I do.

So today I went on date #1. I've been single for a while and thought, well, shucks, I'd better give this relationship thing a go. I mean, at the end of the day, no matter how focused I am and how much I get done, I do have to admit, I wouldn't mind sharing my life with someone. It usually fails miserably, but hey, you never know. So who was date #1? Well, a few months ago, I went out and met this guy from Ghana. He seemed sweet enough and I gave him my number. Since then, he's been really trying to contact me, and I think it had something more to do with how much he liked me... What I mean is, I finally hooked up with the brother today and dude is sad! I mean, I don't mean sad in like I'm dissing him kind of way, but sad, like, where the hell am I? He has no friends, no social network...no girl. Damn! He's studying medicine here, and will be here for two more years...I mean, I knew immediately that we had no future but listening to him I have to say, I knew ...

For a New Yorker living in Copenhagen, life could be like a too-tight shoe. Sometimes, you need to gather round others like yourself, and let your hair hang down! Here's to the Professor (congratulations on your new t.v. show), the photographer (mazel tov!) the filmmaker, the production coordinator and of course the writer! cheers! the lab

for Sonia Sanchez for saving a blackgirl's life in Copenhagen. "I 'spoze there is a time all womens has to visit the slaughter house." --Just Don't Never Give Up on Love, Sonia Sanchez She knew the storm was coming the moment she first set eyes on him--he was like that still dark that comes right before the havoc of winds and chaos. He glided between tables serving food while she sat with the man who had steadied her life so that she no longer recognized herself. People seemed to think that was a good thing. She took one look and knew she would, without hesitation, give him the power to dismantle the stability reason had compelled her to build. But she never was good at reason and she never had been good at love. "For all the women who have ever stretched their bodies out anticipating civilization and finding ruins." ibid Her uncle had asked her once, in Trinidad, "How you have sense so to marry that man?" He was impressed with her husband and...

Click on Image for Rev. Shine's next Show!

My niece in Trinidad keeps on sending me these wonderful emails! If you a Trini...Enjoy! Big ups to the creator of this! October 8th -- We have arrived in Canada!!!. Finally!! This marks a new chapter in our lives. It's very nice here. It's a little cool, but who needs HOT weather? This is perfect: Not too hot; not too cold. October 15th -- It is getting a little cooler, but we are adjusting. We bought some sweaters today and went for a short walk. Loving Toronto!!!. This is what life is about!!! October 30th -- The weather is definitely cooler now. We taped all the windows shut, so cold air cannot creep in. Outside may be cold, but it feels like Port-of-Spain in this house. November 11th -- The news reports say snow is on the way ... we cannot wait!!! We have never seen snow and it should be pretty exciting to see it for the first time. November 14th-- It started snowing. The first of the season and the first real snow we have ever seen. The wife cooked Pelau and we sat by th...

"If you take a seed...and scatter it across the lands, some will end up in marshes, some in rich fertile lands with flowing streams, others in sand, and others among the mountains and rocks. IF the seed is tough, it will adapt and survive in all conditions; if it is weak, it will perish. The same seed in one country may yield a baobab but in another a oak. Our race is potent seed. Whether you are from Ghana or Guyana, you are born of the same seed and you will be of the same fruit. We must recognize our fruition in London, in Paris, in Dakar, in Harare, and in Maputo. Our roots are deep and wide."--ZenZele: A Letter for My Daughter, by J.Nozipo Maraire

Reread Ntozake Shange's For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf (still brilliant)... Finally read Jones' (Baraka's) Dutchmen ... Re-aquainted myself with Gin... Held my spirit up so much I felt like I was about to break... But I didn't. Hung out with one of my bestfriends Who loved me so I almost healed. (Thank you Reggie). Spent all my money. Just about. Figured out my One Woman Play. & that the only reliable thing in life is my writing.

You really are who you believe yourself to be.