Another Petal...


I just came back from up North--spent the weekend with Ben & Kai. When I got back, found out that my Aunt on my father's side past away. It feels as though a petal falls to the ground for each family member who passes on to the other side, another portal inaccessible to the past. I always thought I would be able to sit and talk to her more and ask her questions about my father, her mother, her childhood in a Trinidad that is no longer there. I always thought that the moment would present itself in that magical time I must learn not to count on--you know, the time when everything is ok and there are no financial worries and no stress. But who am I kidding? So Aunty Audrey, my father's only sibling, has moved on.
She was a sassy woman too--migrated to New York from Trinidad and hosted her own radio show for a while...boy, I really messed up this one. How am I ever going to fill in these blanks, these questions, that her existence answered?
Family always think family is automatic, like I'm your Aunt so I'm your Aunt. I say not so. Aunty Audrey was really cool and really put herself out there for us when we really needed her, so this is in no way directed at her. But there are definitely those in ones family who think that family is automatic, rather than earned. I have friends who I know better than some family members. We have to work at being family--and that's why I'm thankful for this knowledge because I know not to take my son's presence in my life for granted. It is a gift and I am fully aware that I must continue to cultivate my relationship with him because I always want to have the honor of his calling me his mother.
Rest in Peace Aunty Audrey. You were definitely a fine human being and I feel blessed that you have been in my life.
Love,
the lab

P.S. I had planned on writing something about the madman who ran onto the field in the Denmark-Sweden Football camp last night which ended up costing Denmark the game, but oh well...I guess it worked out for me because I promised Ben if Denmark won I would speak Danish all the time...

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