Coping in Copenhagen
The Party
I'm probably the person who went to the most number of Danish schools in Denmark. I went to a total of three, and the last one, KISS, is where I met a bunch of other expats who all had something I hadn't: A positive attitude about being here. It helped to meet others who were away from home and struggling with the language. It inspired to meet others who were learning Danish not necessarily because the Danish Government said they had to, but because they wanted to. While there I met Gunay, who hails from Turkey; Brent & Jay, fellow Americans; Roxanna, from Romania; Andreas, a Swiss among others. We'd go to Temple Bar on Fridays and punctuate our conversations with what seemed like endless beer. I met these guys at a very important juncture in my life where I really needed to have my own network, not just Benjamin's and I definitely lucked out.
Being the well-organized, go-getters that this bunch tends to be, they decided to organize a party celebrating their 5 year anniversary of being here in Denmark. They invited me to join them, although I have been here 8. I thought, why not? It seemed like such a healthy thing to do: Commemorate the positive passing of time. So I said yes and the party was really a beautiful success.
Thanks for coming! I think it was a special evening!
On Mommy
Last night I called my mother. She's on her way to Trinidad for my Grandmother's birthday (17th September). It's been a year already since she was here. Sigh! I guess you guys get the point about how much I miss this sweet woman. My mother told me this story about her youth:
"I remember when I was a child Mammy wanted me to wear this raincoat to school, but I didn't wear it. I never wanted to stand out and in Trinidad, children don't wear rain coats and I remember she beat me. You know, just the other day she brought that story up, and she say she finally realize why I didn't wear that raincoat: I didn´'t want to stick out. I wanted to be like all the others." She also spoke about my father and said some insightful things. She said, "You know, your father wasn't always like that. He wasn't always crazy."
"Do you think he was crazy?"
"Yes." She continues, "I'm glad I supported him."
"But what about us?" I ask.
"Well, you see me? I can't turn on people, and for me to leave him, I felt like I would be turning my back on him. You ever see those crazy people on the street...I guess I thought that you (the children) would have benefited from seeing me take care of someone else..."
I have to say, there is something beautiful in that Mom. Thanks. No matter how hard life has been, a. it could have been harder and you know what? b. i wouldn't have changed it for the world because in the end, my mom and dad, just like every other human being in the world, have their faults, imperfections and great qualities. I felt like I really spoke to another human being last night, not just someone I project all my childish hangups on. Thank's mom!
The Inuit
Today while I was walking down the street, I caught a glimpse of an ambulance, then I did a double-take. They were in the midst of trying to resuscitate someone, and I couldn't help but be reminded: Wow. It can just go like that! Karina, a woman who I work with, says she and her son were looking up at the stars last night (I get goosebumps repeating this story) and there they were, looking up at the heavens and she's having these deep thoughts and all and suddenly her son says, "I know what the meaning of life is!" And Karina of course, asks, "What?" And he answers--"to be alive!" Children are profound.
So on my way home from work today, an Inuit from Greenland comes and sits next to me on the train. His face is weathered from life and I can't help but think that he is directly kin to Native Americans. His face is truly beautiful: moon-shaped and his eyes still twinkle behind the blur of life. He smells like tobacco, alcohol and sweat and so, with one quick whiff, he conjures my grandfather when he'd come home from one of his binges.
Grandaddy was funny. He'd have these long stretches of "behaving" himself where the most amount of trouble he'd get in was nodding off in front of the television. And he had his routines. Every morning he'd wake up, wash up, eat, go up the road to buy his paper (all the Older men did this...I wonder who goes to do this now in Diamond Vale, on Emerald Drive?) He'd come back, read the paper: Ahhh, retirement, I suppose, had it's privileges. Then he'd nap, and on some days, he'd go off to some rum shop and when he did that? Forget it. But, the Universe cradle his soul, he was a funny drunk! He was harmless but I tell you the whole street heard our house. We were like the countriest folks on Emerald Drive, perhaps the Old Vale as a whole! But anyway, this Inuit made me remember my Grandfather, a man with whom I had a very complicated (or simple) relationship with. I'll write about that another time. The Inuit he turned to me and asked me if the next stop was Nørreport. No, I answer, it's two more stops. He puts his legs up on the seat and lays his head down. I ask, do you know when you get off? And he answers yes. He asks for small change and I reply that unfortunately I have none.
I wanted to cuddle him in my arms, take him home and put him back together again. I felt my heart, how can I describe it? I felt my heart come alive in a way I rarely have felt it. Maybe it was compassion. But in any event, I felt as though I had a spiritual moment in my life and he had given it to me. Wow. I really do wish I could have given him some small change. I guess it was the least I could have done, given this amazing gift he had given me. Human beings, sometimes, can be really beautiful.
Bye now,
lab
I'm probably the person who went to the most number of Danish schools in Denmark. I went to a total of three, and the last one, KISS, is where I met a bunch of other expats who all had something I hadn't: A positive attitude about being here. It helped to meet others who were away from home and struggling with the language. It inspired to meet others who were learning Danish not necessarily because the Danish Government said they had to, but because they wanted to. While there I met Gunay, who hails from Turkey; Brent & Jay, fellow Americans; Roxanna, from Romania; Andreas, a Swiss among others. We'd go to Temple Bar on Fridays and punctuate our conversations with what seemed like endless beer. I met these guys at a very important juncture in my life where I really needed to have my own network, not just Benjamin's and I definitely lucked out.
Being the well-organized, go-getters that this bunch tends to be, they decided to organize a party celebrating their 5 year anniversary of being here in Denmark. They invited me to join them, although I have been here 8. I thought, why not? It seemed like such a healthy thing to do: Commemorate the positive passing of time. So I said yes and the party was really a beautiful success.
Thanks for coming! I think it was a special evening!
On Mommy
Last night I called my mother. She's on her way to Trinidad for my Grandmother's birthday (17th September). It's been a year already since she was here. Sigh! I guess you guys get the point about how much I miss this sweet woman. My mother told me this story about her youth:
"I remember when I was a child Mammy wanted me to wear this raincoat to school, but I didn't wear it. I never wanted to stand out and in Trinidad, children don't wear rain coats and I remember she beat me. You know, just the other day she brought that story up, and she say she finally realize why I didn't wear that raincoat: I didn´'t want to stick out. I wanted to be like all the others." She also spoke about my father and said some insightful things. She said, "You know, your father wasn't always like that. He wasn't always crazy."
"Do you think he was crazy?"
"Yes." She continues, "I'm glad I supported him."
"But what about us?" I ask.
"Well, you see me? I can't turn on people, and for me to leave him, I felt like I would be turning my back on him. You ever see those crazy people on the street...I guess I thought that you (the children) would have benefited from seeing me take care of someone else..."
I have to say, there is something beautiful in that Mom. Thanks. No matter how hard life has been, a. it could have been harder and you know what? b. i wouldn't have changed it for the world because in the end, my mom and dad, just like every other human being in the world, have their faults, imperfections and great qualities. I felt like I really spoke to another human being last night, not just someone I project all my childish hangups on. Thank's mom!
The Inuit
Today while I was walking down the street, I caught a glimpse of an ambulance, then I did a double-take. They were in the midst of trying to resuscitate someone, and I couldn't help but be reminded: Wow. It can just go like that! Karina, a woman who I work with, says she and her son were looking up at the stars last night (I get goosebumps repeating this story) and there they were, looking up at the heavens and she's having these deep thoughts and all and suddenly her son says, "I know what the meaning of life is!" And Karina of course, asks, "What?" And he answers--"to be alive!" Children are profound.
So on my way home from work today, an Inuit from Greenland comes and sits next to me on the train. His face is weathered from life and I can't help but think that he is directly kin to Native Americans. His face is truly beautiful: moon-shaped and his eyes still twinkle behind the blur of life. He smells like tobacco, alcohol and sweat and so, with one quick whiff, he conjures my grandfather when he'd come home from one of his binges.
Grandaddy was funny. He'd have these long stretches of "behaving" himself where the most amount of trouble he'd get in was nodding off in front of the television. And he had his routines. Every morning he'd wake up, wash up, eat, go up the road to buy his paper (all the Older men did this...I wonder who goes to do this now in Diamond Vale, on Emerald Drive?) He'd come back, read the paper: Ahhh, retirement, I suppose, had it's privileges. Then he'd nap, and on some days, he'd go off to some rum shop and when he did that? Forget it. But, the Universe cradle his soul, he was a funny drunk! He was harmless but I tell you the whole street heard our house. We were like the countriest folks on Emerald Drive, perhaps the Old Vale as a whole! But anyway, this Inuit made me remember my Grandfather, a man with whom I had a very complicated (or simple) relationship with. I'll write about that another time. The Inuit he turned to me and asked me if the next stop was Nørreport. No, I answer, it's two more stops. He puts his legs up on the seat and lays his head down. I ask, do you know when you get off? And he answers yes. He asks for small change and I reply that unfortunately I have none.
I wanted to cuddle him in my arms, take him home and put him back together again. I felt my heart, how can I describe it? I felt my heart come alive in a way I rarely have felt it. Maybe it was compassion. But in any event, I felt as though I had a spiritual moment in my life and he had given it to me. Wow. I really do wish I could have given him some small change. I guess it was the least I could have done, given this amazing gift he had given me. Human beings, sometimes, can be really beautiful.
Bye now,
lab
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