Trinidad

Trinidad is beckoning me and I must go home.
I didn't want to wake up this morning, because I dreamt I was in the company of my grandmother, Mummy Hildred. I found myself inside the house where I spent a substantial amount of my youth. Even Grandaddy was there--although he has been dead for quite some time--and we regarded each other with the love that we always held back from each other. I visited Aunty Jackie--the woman who lives across the street and she showed me her garden, full of colorful flowers whose names I had already forgotten by the time I awoke. Aunty Jackie is a coffee-colored African woman who, according to my Grandmother, always asks for me. It was she who helped me get into Diamond Vale Primary School and always referred to me as "her girl". Aunty Jackie never had children of her own but she tended her garden the same way she tended her classes at the school--with an unyeilding disciplinarian hand through which expressions of love and tenderness sometimes broke through like the sun through clouds. No one needs the sun all the time though--All sun makes a desert :-)
The last time I saw my grandmother was two years ago when she visited me for her 82nd birthday. I know what you are thinking, "shame on you Lesley!" And you are right. I must find a way to see my Mummy Hildred, by any means necessary.
I bumped into Lennox Raphael yesterday, a Trinidadian writer who also lives here in Copenhagen. He gave me one of his newly published books and one of the lines jumped out at me:
"Art is not what we do,
is what we resist doing;
especially to ourselves."
It was through Lennox that I met Roi Kwabena and it was through Roi that I've made two recent important connections--both rooted in Trinidad and they know who they are. I mention this now because all things seem to point to Trinidad.
I've been listening a lot to Roi's words lately and feel the magic in the air. Roi is not dead--he is in the midst of spinning something fantastic, something that has its roots in his work and now continues through many of us. I am happy to be a part of this.
Something is in the air, and I got a little bit of the magic dust in my sleep last night...soon I'll be on a plane with my son at my side and on my way to see my hero #1 Hildred Balbirsingh...
I will make it there this summer.
Happy Sunday,
the lab

Comments

Hej Lesley! You're so lucky to still have a grandmother so kiss in this world. I hope you get to see her again soon.

I started a series highlighting Black Women Bloggers in Europe and you're the first in my series:

http://blackwomenineurope.blogspot.com/2008/04/black-women-bloggers-in-europe-series.html

Hugs from Sweden!
Thanks so much A for this honor! This is really cool & I'm very excited about this.
Have a beautiful day,
lab
Anonymous said…
I saw how your blog and thought it wa s a good read! I'm a fan! :)
Yeah! Welcome! I'll be keeping my eye on yours as well,
best,
lab
Your latest blog posts are buzzing with all sorts of deliberation and reflection. Dreams led me to Trinidad, and there were times that I cursed (cussed) those dreams, and other times dreamt that the reality of being there would never end. I don't know anyone who can spend any serious time in Trinidad and not come away transformed. A number of countries have been part of my life experience, and I mean really significant parts--and yet it is Trinidad that visits me in dreams and that keeps pulling me in. My secret theory is: Trinidad is the hidden centre of the universe, a crucible, or better yet a blast furnace where what it is to be human is melted, poured, and hammered out on a daily basis. It is a place that is neither mostly "good" nor mostly "bad", but one that strikes me as more real than Starbucks landscapes inhabited by peroxide heads bobbing to robotic techno-pop jingles. Thanks for your blog.
That's why I'm writing this novel...I agree with you. What I love most about Trinidad is the humor and the sense of it that always remind you not to take life too seriously...thanks for reading my blog! Without folks like you I'd be like one hand clapping...and that wouldn't be any fun,
lab

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