blackgirl on mars: notes on a life in copenhagen (or how my alienation brings me closer to people).

I had the honor of writing and presenting my grandmother's Eulogy at her funeral in Santa Cruz, Trinidad on Friday, March 1st. As you may already know if you're a long-time reader of my blog, my grandmother and I had a very close relationship. My name is Lesley-Ann and I am one of Hildred Balbirsingh’s 10 grandchildren.  Mummy Hildred transitioned on February 10 th , 2019.  She was the faithful wife of Ewart G. Gladstone for 50 years and survived him by 25 years. She is survived by her five children  Beryl, Bernice, Stephen, Beverly & Vincent. Her ten grandchildren: Shelley, Gerry, Tessa, Junior, Camille, Tami, Jason, Marvin, Dominic-Savio and myself.  She also is the great grandmother of Gerard Jr. , Renee, Maya, Talia, Kai, Kaii, Benjamin, Gabriel Savior, Geriah and Ryuta.  She is also the great great grandmother of Sidney Stinson.  Thank you all for coming to celebrate her life.  My grandmother was born here in Santa...

It's half-past twelve and the rest of the house is asleep while I work on my latest shawl. I can hear the frogs croaking outside and the breeze from the fan is cool on my otherwise hot skin. As I knit, I am reminded of the many evenings I have stayed awake in this house in Diamond Vale, while my grandparents were asleep, and I'd be up late studying for an exam I had to take at Providence Girls Catholic School or I would have been writing a story or something. Sometimes, I just stayed up late to watch television, and in those days, there were only two television stations! There is something about this house that holds me with so much love. Maybe it's the fact that I spent four years here, maybe it's because it's my grandparent's house, maybe it's because it's in the land of my ancestors - maybe it's a combination of all that and more, but I truly do feel at peace here. I was so sick when I was in Denmark. My job really stressed me out. My body felt...

Here's a smile at my grandmother's funeral in Santa Cruz, Trinidad.  photo credit coming soon.  It's supposed to be dry season in Trinidad and Tobago but it's been raining for the past hour. I'm sitting in what used to be my grandparent's house in Diamond Vale, which is in the town of Diego Martin. Diamond Vale is a valley and all the streets are named after precious stones. It's divided into two sections, the new vale and the old vale - my grandparent's house is in the old vale. When this neighborhood was first built, it was all the rage, but I can't help but wonder how much my grandparents and everyone else who moved here from the countryside must have felt to live in concrete houses that seemed designed to socialize them out of their country hospitality. There was a time when I knew almost everyone on this street, but so many have moved out, often abroad, and the street no longer has that coziness it once had when familiar faces greeted you ...

Getty Museum, LA  Getty Museum, LA Getty Museum, LA First stop: Los Angeles! Thank you for coming out & making my first North American stop a.m.a.z.i.n.g. It's been raining almost everyday since I arrived last Friday, but Venice is still beautiful.  It's been raining almost everyday since I arrived last Friday, but Venice is still beautiful.  It's been almost a week since I've arrived to Los Angeles. The last time I was in Los Angeles, like for real, for real, was in the late 90s when I came out to interview Coolio for OneWorld magazine. That seems like a lifetime ago, and like everything else in the U.S. Los Angeles is so big that it was impossible for me to see it in its entirety back then. This time however, I stayed in Echo Park which I loved and now I'm in Venice which is pretty gorgeous and has such a laid-back vibe. I would definitely visit again. My book event was awesome. Kelli Curry from The Electric Smoothie L...

Jason Smalls and I getting ready to walk into Mexico! photo: Jason Smalls  On the way home from Mexico - we walked and saw this breathtaking sunset photo: Jason Smalls We found the most amazing bookstore in Carlsbad, CA !  It's early Monday morning, and as I type this I can hear the rain outside my window which looks out into a cascade of various plants. I'm staying in Echo Park and although I've only been here about three days, can safely say that I love the vibe of this neighborhood.  First of all, the abundance of trees and plants that surround me, hold me in love.  A simple walk down the street to Sunset Blvd reveals so many plants - I am surrounded by a myriad of succulents, cacti and other tropical plants that remind me of the Caribbean and so, home. The rolling hills and surrounding mountains are also familiar to me, as I lived in a valley in Trinidad, called Diamond Vale. The local cafe has a sign that reads "Resist Hate." Sunset Blvd is ju...

This is Alanna Lockward this past summer in Berlin. It was the last evening of BE.BOP 2018: Coalitions facing White Innocence.  today I received the very sad news that my friend and mentor, Alanna Lockward passed -  I did not know that grief could make you feel nauseated. I was just in touch with her this past weekend and over the holidays. I was about to apply for a fellowship and she was one of the first people I thought a bout for a letter of recommendation, and in true Alanna style, she did not hesitate with a yes. I decided in the end not to apply, but we continued to chat over WhatsApp - with her last message to me telling me that she was in Haiti and how excited she was for this new year.  Alanna was the brainchild behind Be.Bop -  Black Body politics that met every other year. These meetings were radical in the very fact that they were happening at all. Alanna was able to bring together decolonial thinkers and artists - Walter Mignolo, Tanja Ostojic, A...