blackgirl on mars: notes on a life in copenhagen (or how my alienation brings me closer to people).

I had the honor of writing and presenting my grandmother's Eulogy at her funeral in Santa Cruz, Trinidad on Friday, March 1st. As you may already know if you're a long-time reader of my blog, my grandmother and I had a very close relationship. My name is Lesley-Ann and I am one of Hildred Balbirsingh’s 10 grandchildren.  Mummy Hildred transitioned on February 10 th , 2019.  She was the faithful wife of Ewart G. Gladstone for 50 years and survived him by 25 years. She is survived by her five children  Beryl, Bernice, Stephen, Beverly & Vincent. Her ten grandchildren: Shelley, Gerry, Tessa, Junior, Camille, Tami, Jason, Marvin, Dominic-Savio and myself.  She also is the great grandmother of Gerard Jr. , Renee, Maya, Talia, Kai, Kaii, Benjamin, Gabriel Savior, Geriah and Ryuta.  She is also the great great grandmother of Sidney Stinson.  Thank you all for coming to celebrate her life.  My grandmother was born here in Santa...

It's half-past twelve and the rest of the house is asleep while I work on my latest shawl. I can hear the frogs croaking outside and the breeze from the fan is cool on my otherwise hot skin. As I knit, I am reminded of the many evenings I have stayed awake in this house in Diamond Vale, while my grandparents were asleep, and I'd be up late studying for an exam I had to take at Providence Girls Catholic School or I would have been writing a story or something. Sometimes, I just stayed up late to watch television, and in those days, there were only two television stations! There is something about this house that holds me with so much love. Maybe it's the fact that I spent four years here, maybe it's because it's my grandparent's house, maybe it's because it's in the land of my ancestors - maybe it's a combination of all that and more, but I truly do feel at peace here. I was so sick when I was in Denmark. My job really stressed me out. My body felt...

Here's a smile at my grandmother's funeral in Santa Cruz, Trinidad.  photo credit coming soon.  It's supposed to be dry season in Trinidad and Tobago but it's been raining for the past hour. I'm sitting in what used to be my grandparent's house in Diamond Vale, which is in the town of Diego Martin. Diamond Vale is a valley and all the streets are named after precious stones. It's divided into two sections, the new vale and the old vale - my grandparent's house is in the old vale. When this neighborhood was first built, it was all the rage, but I can't help but wonder how much my grandparents and everyone else who moved here from the countryside must have felt to live in concrete houses that seemed designed to socialize them out of their country hospitality. There was a time when I knew almost everyone on this street, but so many have moved out, often abroad, and the street no longer has that coziness it once had when familiar faces greeted you ...