Dear Mommy,
I've been walking around thinking about you a lot lately. I've been really thinking about this example you set, which imparts a pretty good lesson once I get strong enough to take it on. The lesson is this: Just be yourself.
I know you, like every one else, have always been open to criticism all your life. You have made decisions that many have disagreed with, whether it's your choice of a partner, how you parented, your career--sometimes the loudest opponents to your decisions have even been me. Always someone else telling you how they think you should do it, always someone else telling you where they think you did wrong. And in the face of this you have always remained steadfast and stubborn. "So?" You'd retort, "Every one can't be the same!" You'd admonish and suck your teeth. You finally learned how to fight back later in your life and sometimes it's even me you're standing up to.
Since I've spent so much of my days telling you what I think you've done wrong, I think for Christmas, I'm gonna tell you some of the things I think you've done right:
1. Encourage me in my writing. You always told me I could be anything I wanted to be. The fact that you read my work and tell me you like it has been fundamental in my continuing to believe in myself. The fact that you can read "The Organist's Daughter" and tell me that you think it is beautiful is in itself and extraordinary act of grace. Thanks for that and I do not take that for granted.
2. Your being so down-to-earth. Your ability to connect with people no matter where they come from. Your lack of snobbery, you are very down to earth and I believe it is one of your greatest strengths.
3.Your insistence that every one is different. You are right. Every one can not be the same and live their lives the same way. I hear you and respect that and respect and love every one else in my life to honor that. I have learned that from you.
4. The continued respect in which you speak about my father. He put you through a lot, and the fact that you talk about him with no bitterness is a testimony to your ability to forgive...again, not a small task to accomplish.
5. That you stay so true to yourself. Over 30 years in New York and you still talk like a country Trini--no small feat either!
6. Your cooking. I don't care what Jason says (smile)--you are an amazing cook!
7. Your vanity--my earliest memories of you are of your standing in front of the mirror putting your make-up on. In other words: You always looked amazing no matter what was going down!
8. Your attraction to the loud patterns and colors of life: Life is too short to wear boring clothing!
Ok. I'll stop now...but I just wanted to take this moment to say that despite how I sometimes regress to a 10 year-old in your presence, I do think you're awesome. And I'm not the only one either...
Merry Christmas Mommy & I wish you the best and all the happiness in the world this New Year!
Love,
Your daughter,
Lesley-Ann
3.
I know you, like every one else, have always been open to criticism all your life. You have made decisions that many have disagreed with, whether it's your choice of a partner, how you parented, your career--sometimes the loudest opponents to your decisions have even been me. Always someone else telling you how they think you should do it, always someone else telling you where they think you did wrong. And in the face of this you have always remained steadfast and stubborn. "So?" You'd retort, "Every one can't be the same!" You'd admonish and suck your teeth. You finally learned how to fight back later in your life and sometimes it's even me you're standing up to.
Since I've spent so much of my days telling you what I think you've done wrong, I think for Christmas, I'm gonna tell you some of the things I think you've done right:
1. Encourage me in my writing. You always told me I could be anything I wanted to be. The fact that you read my work and tell me you like it has been fundamental in my continuing to believe in myself. The fact that you can read "The Organist's Daughter" and tell me that you think it is beautiful is in itself and extraordinary act of grace. Thanks for that and I do not take that for granted.
2. Your being so down-to-earth. Your ability to connect with people no matter where they come from. Your lack of snobbery, you are very down to earth and I believe it is one of your greatest strengths.
3.Your insistence that every one is different. You are right. Every one can not be the same and live their lives the same way. I hear you and respect that and respect and love every one else in my life to honor that. I have learned that from you.
4. The continued respect in which you speak about my father. He put you through a lot, and the fact that you talk about him with no bitterness is a testimony to your ability to forgive...again, not a small task to accomplish.
5. That you stay so true to yourself. Over 30 years in New York and you still talk like a country Trini--no small feat either!
6. Your cooking. I don't care what Jason says (smile)--you are an amazing cook!
7. Your vanity--my earliest memories of you are of your standing in front of the mirror putting your make-up on. In other words: You always looked amazing no matter what was going down!
8. Your attraction to the loud patterns and colors of life: Life is too short to wear boring clothing!
Ok. I'll stop now...but I just wanted to take this moment to say that despite how I sometimes regress to a 10 year-old in your presence, I do think you're awesome. And I'm not the only one either...
Merry Christmas Mommy & I wish you the best and all the happiness in the world this New Year!
Love,
Your daughter,
Lesley-Ann
3.
Comments
It's tough to be a smart ass and a good daughter, but we all do the best we can.
And yes, joy is always possible.