Melanin Sun
As I awoke this morning the only sound to be heard was the constant chattering of birds which I can still hear as I sit here typing. Cars pass now and then, but it is the sound of the birds which capture my attention. The tweet tweets are muffled by the sound of a passing helicopter, but they persevere and welcome me into the present.
Last night we cooked dinner together and as Debbie and I stood in the kitchen cutting vegetables, I fell into a Lesley I had forgotten. It was all in the rapport--the ability to pass remarks and know that it is valued and appreciated and vice-versa. This is priceless.
Before that, Marie and I did the Fairway thing. Marie calls it "therapy" and I can understand why. Aisles and aisles of products that offer a bit of respite from what could be the calamitous energy of it all. This supermarket is huge and I don't think there is anything in it you can't find. As the cashier rang up the goods, I saw the setting sun across the river. The lowering sun, glowing orange, hung low above the New Jersey hills...There is a lot of beauty here.
But anyway, we cooked curry veggies, collards, had some other stuff as well. I tried my best with the collards cuz I knew if I got it wrong I would never hear the end of it! But it was a success, although I forgot to put the mustard greens in :-(
I realized this morning what the most difficult thing is for me about living in Denmark. It's not the language, or the difference of culture necessarily, although these are difficult as well. It is not being able to be around other black folks. For me, my life without a healthy flow of other blacks has been like a life without the sun. Add the tough, dark Danish winters and I am humbled that I have gotten this far. As I walk down the street here I see so many types of browns and blacks, so many different kinds of folk, from all around the land and the country and it reminds me not only of my people's beauty but by extension, mine. It's affirming and as human beings we need this social solice. As I pushed the shopping cart in Fairway yesterday, I imagined a musical where I burst out singing in the aisles, "I love Black people!" But then again, this response is probably fitting for someone who has been so racially isolated for as long as I have. On the other hand though, I have always felt this way. So why Denmark? I can only say that there MUST be a reason I am there, other than to raise my son and so far, the trip and challenges have forced me to delve into myself and search and think and most importantly write. Would I live in Denmark the rest of my life?
Nearing the end of my trip I realize that I must travel more. I have always known this, but now I can feel the importance of it. Living in a culturally and racially homogenous society, to me, is stunting. I don't want to live that way, and I definitely don't want my son growing up that way. I'm not knocking Denmark, but hey--it's the truth.
I forgot to mention how proud I am of my sister. A year and a half ago she could not drive, now she's zipping around PA. She's making jewelry, got herself a little gig at the library and although I can see the sadness in her eyes, there's a determination there that I admire. She has not had an easy time with losing her husband. It was really a joy to see the way Kai connected to her and witness the patience in which she dealt with him. It made me wish I could be witness to it more frequently. She is a GREAT Aunty and I feel very lucky that my son has her!
Gerry on the other hand! I think he scared the living lights outta Kai, but Kai just kept on staring wide-eyed up at him. Gerry, my brother, is not exactly the most loving type, well, actually that's not true, but what I mean is, expect punches borne out of love rather than hugs! But in the end, Kai loved his roughness and I think the highlight was when he showed Kai some breakdance moves and did the wave with his tongue...don't ask!
So, I am soon on my way back to Denmark. I will continue to use my time wisely and finish off this novel. I'm in a reading next month, so I have to prepare for that and then of course, I got my little publishing venture going on. Not bad things to return to.
Love,
lab
Last night we cooked dinner together and as Debbie and I stood in the kitchen cutting vegetables, I fell into a Lesley I had forgotten. It was all in the rapport--the ability to pass remarks and know that it is valued and appreciated and vice-versa. This is priceless.
Before that, Marie and I did the Fairway thing. Marie calls it "therapy" and I can understand why. Aisles and aisles of products that offer a bit of respite from what could be the calamitous energy of it all. This supermarket is huge and I don't think there is anything in it you can't find. As the cashier rang up the goods, I saw the setting sun across the river. The lowering sun, glowing orange, hung low above the New Jersey hills...There is a lot of beauty here.
But anyway, we cooked curry veggies, collards, had some other stuff as well. I tried my best with the collards cuz I knew if I got it wrong I would never hear the end of it! But it was a success, although I forgot to put the mustard greens in :-(
I realized this morning what the most difficult thing is for me about living in Denmark. It's not the language, or the difference of culture necessarily, although these are difficult as well. It is not being able to be around other black folks. For me, my life without a healthy flow of other blacks has been like a life without the sun. Add the tough, dark Danish winters and I am humbled that I have gotten this far. As I walk down the street here I see so many types of browns and blacks, so many different kinds of folk, from all around the land and the country and it reminds me not only of my people's beauty but by extension, mine. It's affirming and as human beings we need this social solice. As I pushed the shopping cart in Fairway yesterday, I imagined a musical where I burst out singing in the aisles, "I love Black people!" But then again, this response is probably fitting for someone who has been so racially isolated for as long as I have. On the other hand though, I have always felt this way. So why Denmark? I can only say that there MUST be a reason I am there, other than to raise my son and so far, the trip and challenges have forced me to delve into myself and search and think and most importantly write. Would I live in Denmark the rest of my life?
Nearing the end of my trip I realize that I must travel more. I have always known this, but now I can feel the importance of it. Living in a culturally and racially homogenous society, to me, is stunting. I don't want to live that way, and I definitely don't want my son growing up that way. I'm not knocking Denmark, but hey--it's the truth.
I forgot to mention how proud I am of my sister. A year and a half ago she could not drive, now she's zipping around PA. She's making jewelry, got herself a little gig at the library and although I can see the sadness in her eyes, there's a determination there that I admire. She has not had an easy time with losing her husband. It was really a joy to see the way Kai connected to her and witness the patience in which she dealt with him. It made me wish I could be witness to it more frequently. She is a GREAT Aunty and I feel very lucky that my son has her!
Gerry on the other hand! I think he scared the living lights outta Kai, but Kai just kept on staring wide-eyed up at him. Gerry, my brother, is not exactly the most loving type, well, actually that's not true, but what I mean is, expect punches borne out of love rather than hugs! But in the end, Kai loved his roughness and I think the highlight was when he showed Kai some breakdance moves and did the wave with his tongue...don't ask!
So, I am soon on my way back to Denmark. I will continue to use my time wisely and finish off this novel. I'm in a reading next month, so I have to prepare for that and then of course, I got my little publishing venture going on. Not bad things to return to.
Love,
lab
