My Life in the Sunshine...
Roskilde is known for it's annual music festival. It is the place, ten years ago, that I became fascinated with the father of my child. I had made my way to Copenhagen, on train, from Paris to finish a book. And now, here we were, ten years later at a camp with other parents of hearing-impaired kids.
The weather is fantastic and we spent the day at Sagnlandet Lejre where you can see how Vikings once lived. You can ground grain, spark flint and brave hollowed out boats. You can step into the what homes probably looked like during the Iron Age and every so often a musician walks through the village with his instruments and song. It was pretty fun and every one seemed to have enjoyed it.
Being around Danish people I don't know always challenges me in ways that surprise me. It actually has little to do with the fact that they are Danish, and more to do with the fact that because I am a foreigner, I elicit the same questions over and over again. After being here for ten years, it becomes a bit tired.
It is hard having this conversation time and time again: Why are you here? How long have you been here? Where are you from? (the reaction is always surprise when you say New York. Now look, I love New York, but why do people act like I'm saying I'm the second-coming of Christ 'cause I'm from there? I mean, I know New York is dope, but so are many other places). Don't you miss it? Of course I do! And then of course, there is always the comment about my skin color, "I bet you don't need sunscreen!" Most of the times I can let these comments just slide off me like water on a duck, but sometimes...
Then there's the conversation that inevitably comes up when it is tada! revealed that my son is a vegetarian. Now why is it in this day and age, people react as if my son is a cannibal simply because he prefers not to eat animals?
It's also having to keep up with the language for the entire weekend. My dear friend Joy once said, "There are two types of people when it comes to foreign languages. There are those who jump right in and say, 'yes, come on! I want to learn this language!' Then there are those who simply just space out." I belong to the latter. So the fact that I even learned Danish is no small miracle. Now I'm not saying it's right, I mean, if you're gonna live in another country, I do believe you should learn the language. But again, you're talking to, well, an American. The only two languages I need to learn are Country and Western. Okay, seriously, it wasn't easy for me to learn Danish. It took me a long time. And it is not necessarily because Danish is difficult. It actually has a lot to do with my attitude towards the matter. I admit that.
And yes, I do speak Danish and yes, I could speak it all the time but to be honest a. I don't feel myself when I do and b. it is friggin tiring as hell. It takes so much concentration for my ADHD brain in the first place and to spend a whole day doing it? That's when I realize the true reason my son's father and I will never be together.
Get this: I really like Kai's father. It's been dogging me for years trying to crack the code as to why it is we can't be together. I mean, he is dope. We have many of the same interests. We're both lefties. We both pretty much like the same authors. And not least of all, we have a son together. So for years I have been laying in bed at night, trying to figure out why is it that we can't just figure it out? And then I get the answer.
See, I need to retreat at around 8pm. I'm tired. I have mingled. I have talked. I have shared and listened. I have had a good time. I need to go in my hotel room and recoup. I need to touch base with myself and get back to myself. Being around folks who are not like you is taxing. And I don't mean it in a bad way at all. It's just that it ups the being in another country experience from ten to eleven, right? You feel me? I have had a great day, no complaints here at all. But now I need peace. And so I say that I need to go back to the room and write. He still, after ten years of knowing each other, does not understand this.
In my heart it is no accident that this incident has occurred in Roskilde, that place where, as mentioned before I first became intrigued with him. It is the Universe telling me that it is ok now to let go. Finally, finally I get it and now there is even one more thing in my life I can lay to rest. Thank goodness.
And I'm in my hotel room anyway writing. Sheesh!
farvel,
the lab
The weather is fantastic and we spent the day at Sagnlandet Lejre where you can see how Vikings once lived. You can ground grain, spark flint and brave hollowed out boats. You can step into the what homes probably looked like during the Iron Age and every so often a musician walks through the village with his instruments and song. It was pretty fun and every one seemed to have enjoyed it.
Being around Danish people I don't know always challenges me in ways that surprise me. It actually has little to do with the fact that they are Danish, and more to do with the fact that because I am a foreigner, I elicit the same questions over and over again. After being here for ten years, it becomes a bit tired.
It is hard having this conversation time and time again: Why are you here? How long have you been here? Where are you from? (the reaction is always surprise when you say New York. Now look, I love New York, but why do people act like I'm saying I'm the second-coming of Christ 'cause I'm from there? I mean, I know New York is dope, but so are many other places). Don't you miss it? Of course I do! And then of course, there is always the comment about my skin color, "I bet you don't need sunscreen!" Most of the times I can let these comments just slide off me like water on a duck, but sometimes...
Then there's the conversation that inevitably comes up when it is tada! revealed that my son is a vegetarian. Now why is it in this day and age, people react as if my son is a cannibal simply because he prefers not to eat animals?
It's also having to keep up with the language for the entire weekend. My dear friend Joy once said, "There are two types of people when it comes to foreign languages. There are those who jump right in and say, 'yes, come on! I want to learn this language!' Then there are those who simply just space out." I belong to the latter. So the fact that I even learned Danish is no small miracle. Now I'm not saying it's right, I mean, if you're gonna live in another country, I do believe you should learn the language. But again, you're talking to, well, an American. The only two languages I need to learn are Country and Western. Okay, seriously, it wasn't easy for me to learn Danish. It took me a long time. And it is not necessarily because Danish is difficult. It actually has a lot to do with my attitude towards the matter. I admit that.
And yes, I do speak Danish and yes, I could speak it all the time but to be honest a. I don't feel myself when I do and b. it is friggin tiring as hell. It takes so much concentration for my ADHD brain in the first place and to spend a whole day doing it? That's when I realize the true reason my son's father and I will never be together.
Get this: I really like Kai's father. It's been dogging me for years trying to crack the code as to why it is we can't be together. I mean, he is dope. We have many of the same interests. We're both lefties. We both pretty much like the same authors. And not least of all, we have a son together. So for years I have been laying in bed at night, trying to figure out why is it that we can't just figure it out? And then I get the answer.
See, I need to retreat at around 8pm. I'm tired. I have mingled. I have talked. I have shared and listened. I have had a good time. I need to go in my hotel room and recoup. I need to touch base with myself and get back to myself. Being around folks who are not like you is taxing. And I don't mean it in a bad way at all. It's just that it ups the being in another country experience from ten to eleven, right? You feel me? I have had a great day, no complaints here at all. But now I need peace. And so I say that I need to go back to the room and write. He still, after ten years of knowing each other, does not understand this.
In my heart it is no accident that this incident has occurred in Roskilde, that place where, as mentioned before I first became intrigued with him. It is the Universe telling me that it is ok now to let go. Finally, finally I get it and now there is even one more thing in my life I can lay to rest. Thank goodness.
And I'm in my hotel room anyway writing. Sheesh!
farvel,
the lab
Comments
lab
Even though I speak Greek and lived with someone who didn't speak English for ten years I still feel like I've become a different person when I speak the language.
Charlemagne is quoted as saying, "to learn another language is to gain another soul." I love that sentiment a lot, but the work that goes into it! Whew!