Life...

Yesterday, with the help of an amazing team of talented people, the first part of the Blackgirl on Mars photoshoot was completed...for those who know me well, I actually hate taking pictures. I feel uncomfortable in front of the camera: but as in all else, it's a matter of practice and by the end of a two hour shoot yesterday, I think I started to get the hang of it.
The plan is to have a show up and running by Spring. We all know what deadlines are though...the stuff that makes the Universe laugh. But the idea of this show came to me years ago...and ever since I've been using each performance as a testing ground as to how I will put this multi-media production together. I've often found that as soon as I say I am about to do something, gifts appear. One such gift is L--a fellow New Yorker with whom I feel a kinship: creatively and spiritually. L has agreed, much to my joy, to direct this production.
There is much happening, sometimes too much, but I must hang in there, take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. It's wonderful to be back in school and be with the kids: the challenges sometimes seem gargantuan though but it is something I know I can do. One of the best moments was when one of my fifth graders (I'm really digging this group of kids!)asked me 8 in the morning, "Må jeg drikke noget?" (Can I drink something?) Of course you may! I answer, feeling quite magnanimous and loving the power that I, the teacher, happen to be endowed with (yeah right!). Homeboy pulls out a Red Bull! I am not kidding! After breaking down why he, under no circumstances, should EVER drink that stuff, I made him SWEAR he would never drink it again. I got my eyes on him!
Projects take on a snail's pace when there is much going on. But I am ok with this. I'm really attempting to remain calm and grounded: not letting my mind or spirit slip into chaos. I'm learning that there are certain measures I can do to maintain some semblance of calm, and my first priority of late is to be much kinder and gentler to myself. I've also been working out regular, channeling my nervous energy. One of my biggest challenges has always been focus: While some people can choose one thing and cultivate that thing, my interest has always been far and wide-reaching. Fortunately I have managed to produce despite this, but at times, it can be quite nerve-racking, especially since it is not the way one is encouraged to create. I must maintain a balance between doing things my way, but becoming more effective at it.
Last night I went to a going away party for B --B has been here twenty years and is returning home, back to New York. It is something she has always wanted to do, and while it is a sad thing to lose her, It is wonderful seeing how happy she is in fulfilling her dream.
I often wonder, if I live long enough, where will I end up? I certainly do not want to grow old here, if I am lucky enough to grow old at all.
But again, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, and not anticipating problems: My new mantra.
I often say that I would like to retire to the South of France--which would mean I'd better start learning French. I've also thought about opening a school somewhere in the world...like blindfolding myself and pointing somewhere, anywhere in the world, where schools need to be built. Or I could see myself living out my hippie dreams on the West Coast...writing, Sunshine, soul...but who knows? Blessed are those with options, huh? It indeed, is not a bad thing.
farvel,
the lab