Love

I just got back from a road trip to Odense with my girl Priscilla.
Odense is a little city on the island of Fyn in Denmark. We wanted to try something a little different and change up the scenery a bit. Armed with old cds and a sense of humor, we headed out to an unknown city.
It was nice to get out of town and get on the road. Odense is a beautiful little town and the break from big city life was much-needed. I know I have been here for way too long when I refer to Copenhagen as a big city. Both on my way and back, I found myself asking:

What is love?

I remember many, many years ago while waiting in an airport in Pensecola, Florida I bumped into bell hooks.
Psyched was not the word. I had the blessing of having one of her former students as a professor in college, and let's just say that ms. bell has had a significant impact on how I see the world, or better yet, she put words to feelings I had been walking around with all my life. bell hooks is to me like pork is to the Danish economy: In other words, integral.
So needless to say, I was psyched. I approached her, my newly-bought magazine rolled up under my arm. "Aren't you bell hooks?" I asked.
She received me well and we soon got into a discussion about a certain Black model, who happened to be on the cover of the magazine I had just bought. Great, I thought, I'm having a discourse on race with Ms. hooks herself. How cool could that be? Then the conversation kind of turned.
She started talking to me about love. She said that she missed having someone in her life and that she would have liked to have a partner. Now this conversation happened years, years ago. I was much younger and I remember feeling a bit disappointed. All my life I have had a push and pull relationship with the notion of romantic love. Romantic love was one of those things that always worked out better in my head than in real life. I have always been suspicious of it, and truth be told, am a subscriber to the idea that it really is, in the end, some cruel biological hard-wiring to ensure the continuation of the species. This is not to say that I have not experienced love, but well, I try, unsuccessfully of course, to avoid it. I remember being a bit disappointed that our conversation had, in my mind, taken a dive for the mundane. I mean, here I was talking to one of my intellectual gurus, and what did we end up talking about? Love.
But now I understand her.

That is not to say that I don't believe in the cruel hard-wiring theory. But what I know is that love is, for better or worse, integral to our lives. I don't subscribe to the prince on the shining horse theory, but I do know that, after 37 years of living on this planet, that it hits you from the most unexpected of places. What we choose to do with it is something else. I also know that love can be fleeting, in flux, like everything else. You can experience it in brief encounters, as well as long-term commitments. I'm not saying that I have it all figured out yet. Far from it. But I do know that you if you are, at this moment, in love with someone, hold on to it and appreciate it. It doesn't happen often and it is not something to be taken for granted.

As my body grows older, my hair gray (why does hair turn gray, not gold?) and my length of time on this planet grows shorter (easy maths)I would like to take a moment in homage to all the many people in my life who have touched me with love. Love is not easy, it can be complicated at best, but when you have it in your hands, take care of it and nurture it. I hope I grow better at this one simple meditation.

And since it's mothers day, I would like to dedicate this simple meditation to my son: one of my greatest teachers in the field of love.


farvel,
the lab